Horn-y!

well, the devious marketeers mind can think of any hook to catch the gulliable fish( Read:Customer) to try the goods. in this case, my devious mind thinks of the seven sins, and well, since you have reached till this line, i can assume my strategy has work. sadly, this has nothing to do with any of the seven sins, but more like the 8th sin. Being an irate bus driver.
i must tell you at this point of the kind gentleman, who’s service to my company is his unique skill of driving a 40ft piece of metal like a 6ft rover mini. the best part is that he not only lives an illusion that the piece of metal, that is a 20tonne bus, is as small as a car, but also that he is driving a rally in traffic.
he achieves break neck speeds, (that is by breaking the innocent bystanders necks) by some craxzy ass rash driving, but also with his Horn. (now you know the story of the title)

I will call him the Arnold Schwarzenegger of horns.
He has a horn for every occassion and every situation.
But why Arnold Schwarzenegger? simply because in the Movie commando, he has a gun for every occasion.

Here is an MP5, ideal for cleaning teeth, combing hair and blowing off the earlobes of a person within a 70ft range.
Next on the shelf is a baretta 0.45, ideal for combating road rage, silincing irratating critters and mugging someone.

anyways, my gentleman bus driver, has a horn for every body. His body, her body, dead body, everybody!

First, the high pitched Air horn, for close combat: If its a 2 wheeler, or a bus within a 10 ft range. The range here is from my bus’s front bumper to the driver of the condemed vehicle. consistent blowing gives everyone such a headache that they have to pull over to buy an asprin. the day it was fitted, i could swear that the driver wore a wicked smile seeing other drivers veer off near pharmacys. i on the other hand sitting right behind this maniac almost threw up due to the consistant badgering.

Next, the regular horn. tuned to the note C on a keyboard, however far far less pleasant, this is used as the standard equipment horn. red light turns to green, PHWEEEEE! Green light turns to red! PHWEEEEE!( Now, this is only if he bother to stop, i did however wonder why did he do that, was he displaying his displeausre at the signal, well, these are one of those GAKs, or God Alone Knows)

Incase there is a vehicle who is refusing to move from his path, there is the multi note horn, i suspect its tuned to C and A, does break across wavelenghts. The amplitude is also rather large as this is BLOODY loud. so, if he begings to loose his cool, in comes the MP5 of horns.

Now the mother of all horns, The OICW of horns ( Objective Individual Combat Weapon for the un initiated, it was a special weapons program by HK), the THREE tone horn, this is once he HAs lost his cool. now i would much rather not be around when he does blow it, and defninlty not in Front of the bloody bus, but this is saved for those rare occasions of Lboard dirives, and imcompetent nincompops. !

anyways, i am sure from past history our gentleman has a hidden stash of horns like grenades. he keeps replenshing his arsenal every now and then.
well, god do help those who cross his path, and refuse to give way, even if there is NO way to move, just move!
šŸ™‚

OGiM

The day,

It commeth,

Like any other,

Knowing not,

The tragedy it bring-eth,

For it sets in the Sunday evening,

Bringing in the blues,

For that its Monday commeth,

Like no other day,

It banishes the weekend,

Like no other day,

It banishes the smile.

You wonder were the fun and frolic went,

To see no one with a smile.

You sit at your desk,

You wonder what to type,

Then you think and say,

Aah the three musketeers,

Joy they bring,

So I type a few words to thee all,

Have a great week ahead!

Monday’ers

Go yonder to the ā€˜ills,
To smell the fresh air,
My lungs, me love to fills,
Neither the dew, nor dusk,
Nor the tea with rusk,
Puts my thoughts,
Onto paying my bills.
For I am now,
Sitting at my desk,
Wondering how,
My weekend went,
But the task at hand, surviving with the band,
Of so called company frills!

The case of the blathering baboon.

I remember times when we used to see some serials that talk about animals, particularly monkeys, they used to show that monkeys, when they get agitated, they shriek… and a lot at that.

now, I think I found our link to our hairy, tailed, social predecessors.

its our security guards.
sometimes, I guess I can just stand back and marvel at the way they behave when the busses are coming in. The cacophony of the whistles, gives the exact semblance to the screeching of the monkeys in the cage…. khhheee .. kheee,,,, khee hhheeek hsskhskhehkekekeke ..

I guess roughly translates to…. “Hey dudes, check out that couple walking towards us, maybe we should act like them, …. no, why should we… look at those poor souls, trapped in a cage… not free like us…. noo… soo sad… HEY.. YOU TWO… HEY… COME HERE… YOU WANT SOME SNACKY SNACKY?… HEY…. they are not paying attention, … obviously Moron,,… Only I, the smartest monkey around here.. Can talk… “Human”….. eeehhhmm… HEY, you foul smelling, ignoramus, potatohead, strange skined moron… get your ass here, before come there and make you…..

and from past experience… we just hear it as….. kkkhhheeee heeeeekkkhehe ekhekheeeheek ehekehekeheeeee ekheeeeeeeekeh ekhkee……
then, we as humans go, hmmm.. look at those cute monkeys, imagine if we could understand what they are saying. Lets take a picture…

well, the security guards, are just the same. The monkeys in the cage… the difference is…
monkeys who have the brains, don’t have whistles, and I cant say the same for us homosapiens.

I have tried taxing my brains to wondering, why… WHY in the name do they whistle so so very often…. and I have come to just one conclusion.
its a male ego thing. “he who whistles the loudest at the biggest bus, is the bravest. Well.. alas… all is woe!!

watercoolers.

one of the things that they teach you in b-school is that the best place to find information is by the water cooler.
well, they teach you wrong. the only thing i find next to my watercooler is:
a) empty cans.
b) full cans.
c) a tub,
d) a sponge.
e) a bucket
and f) the water cooler itself.
and not to forget the fire exinguisher.
which i feel is rather redundant cause there is water and a bucket right there, why would someone want a fire exinguisher. this is all part of a large conspiracy by one of the large software companies to brain feed us with utter bunkum. who needs a fire extinguiser anyways? considering that a building is upto the hilt in firefighting equipment.

anywyas, who uses one. has anyone not heard of running away? the alarms are shrill enough to wake the dead, the living and the sleeping so i really feel they have done due diligance by ….. hang on… or….
what if these are empty…. hang on!
.
.
.
.
.
.
(that signifies time has gone by).
ok, these suckers are heavy, i dont think i am going to attempt to fire one of these to actually see if they have “stuff in them”. what do you call it? fuel to fight fire?…. hmmm. dont think so, what if someone goes to “refuel” this suckers, and does literly that….
dangerously disastrous!

hmmmm.!
anyways, i got to get back to intellectually challenging things like staring at my screen appearing to be attemtpin to be doing work… but shh! i would not tell anyone that i am not! guess its nice to be in a company that has like a gazziliion people. no one knows, and no one cares!
šŸ™‚

the attack of the keyboard!

the attack of the keyboard!

ineveitiably, there are bound to be a group of people in any organization who belive that their job is bring out the dirt of their companies.
well, im not one of them, so if you were expecting me to throw mud on “my beloved company” you are wrong. speaking of mud throwing, me thinks there is a rather sultry tone to it. WOW. As in Women on Wrestling or something to that effect, not too sure of what the “O” in the WOW is there for. i guess thats like a lot of things in life. you dont know why its there. there used to be a reason for stuff, thats why it was invented, but somewhere along the line, you loose the meaning of it, and then its just done. i would say its similar to getting up in the morning. why does one need to get up in the morning? i mean, why is the morning set as time the sun rises. why are we conditioned to behave the we are behaving? well, yeah, see, i told you, i dont have much work to do. i just come to office, space out, and when i actually do work, its for a rather short time. eveyrone around me is so busy, its nice to be able to just chill out and ….jsut chill out. period.

I guess we need to create the heriocs of something. let see, the heriocs of Werty. Why WERTY? well, in the keyboard, there is QWERTY, so a person with a name called QWERTY sounds rather QWERT-y, so WERTY sounds a cooler, funkier name.
The series is named The Adventures of WERTY.
Yeah, i think i will write something like that. the advantage is that Werty can take flight in imaginations, and not worry of the shackles of everyday life. šŸ™‚ i likes.

well folks, stay tuned for the ADVENTURES OF WERTY.

Softwrae Companies

: ) all discussions postponed to lunch. Those in aye vote now.

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: NA
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:37 AM
To: Menon, Madan ; NP
Subject: RE: good morning

Theres been exactly 31 mails occupying 164 kbā€™s of space, been send out all for a cup of coffee which eventually did not transpireā€¦NICE ! ā€¦.see you guys for lunch, keep mailing.

—–Original Message—–
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:29 AM
To: NP; NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Roger.
Will mount attack without intelligence this time.
Meet you at LZ

_____________________________________________
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:28 AM
To: Menon, Madan ; NA;
Subject: RE: good morning

My priorities are changing in life commander. I am going to busy with my new project code named ā€œWORKā€.

Keep the brew goinā€¦.

Maybe we will have a meeting post noon, when the sun is at 15:00 hours perhaps, weather permitting.

Hai

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:25 AM
To: NA; NP;
Subject: RE: good morning

The medical alliance is mounting an attack. They need the tatcial assistance of the intelligence and the systems support to gain an entry.
Where would you like to rendezvous?

_____________________________________________
From: NA
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:22 AM
To: NP; Menon, Madan

Subject: RE: good morning

Will Jaba the Nut and Fart Vader want to accompany eartly mortals like us for a cup of coffee, anytime now?

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:23 AM
To: NP
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

You have been compramised.

The strawberry patch changes to chocolate and others to lure more people in.

If you have been able to fight the force and come out victorious, we will have the coffee initiation ceremony to re-instate you in the ranks lieutenant.

Banzaiiii!

—–Original Message—–
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:17 AM
To: Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

U doubt my loyalties commander. I was merely infiltrating the strawberry patch to garner intelligence. We shall win ! victory will be ours.

Coffee janagalaā€¦ Vlagah ! valgah !

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:12 AM
To: NP
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Hear hear!
I was jus mailing all
To tell them to come for coffee!
But since we have lost another to the fight! I guess we will let the force reign over this time.
It may have won the battleā€¦ but we the coffee drinkers will win the war.

_____________________________________________
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:09 AM
To: Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Exactly why coffee ? I came, I had strawberry milkshake in building one, I left.

Guess there is a TIME and PLACE for everythingā€¦ : )

————————————————————-

Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:38 AM
To: NP
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

The question you have to ask yourself is,
Are the buildings actually there.
And why is it 14 steps? That is the number we created.
What is time?
Why coffee?

_____________________________________________
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:30 AM
To: Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Dude its reach building 1, then climb stepsā€¦. U gotta see things in totality. As usual, u r seeing it with duality.

Cutting the chase. When is coffee ?

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:28 AM
To: NP
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

You have got to be Jaba the Hutt if you take 5 mins to climb 14 steps.

_____________________________________________
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:27 AM
To: Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Whats that ? the da vinci code ?

Building 1, climb 14 steps in 5 minutes ?

Or are u saying 11.45 am ?

Dude thatā€™s like a million, zillion nano seconds away.

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: Menon, Madan
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:25 AM
To: NP
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

1145

_____________________________________________
From: SV
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:21 AM
To: NP; Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Maddy tell me da? This is ideal time for coffee break.

Regards,

_____________________________________________
From: NP
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:17 AM
To: SV; Menon, Madan
Cc: NA
Subject: RE: good morning

Where , what time ?

————————————————————-
Keep it Simple
————————————————————-

_____________________________________________
From: SV
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 10:16 AM
To: Menon, Madan
Cc:; NA; NP
Subject: good morning

Madan,

Coffee?

Regards,

space

Just got news that a classmate of mine passed over.
when one hears news like this, it does leave you a bit shocked.
I have realised that these are the times that you do the most amount of thinking.
I knew him. cant say i knew him really well. but yes, he was a classmate. he was also the very first person i came to know in my class. the day i joined he gave me a ride to the bus stop.
its really sad though. but then you wonder, what can you do?
sometimes you are in shock. But about what?
I guess death is about space. 1 less person in the earth. but where do they go? thats what gets one thinking. these are the terms “ever again” which get people jolted.
It gives people cold feet during weddings “you cant look at another person….. EVER AGAIN”…. not that i am equating the two, but yeah, I guess you can do the math.

I am relativly new at blogging, and have wondered, what are the uses of this? expression is one way of….. expression.
its gets things out. talking about things that gnaw on your mind.
Now do you want to forget such incidences, you do need to move on in life right?once in a while i guess one will feel bad about the gravity of the situation, but…. what does one do?