Category: life musings

of cracks and surround!

Now a days, I have managed to make my life fairly regular when it comes to going to the Gym. I wake up, drop my wife off, and try and clock atleast an hour each day. Yes, health has taken a priority, and it is in my best interest to make sure I am able to allocate time to do this. So, the days that i do visit the gym, something or the other should happen, else woulnt it make life boring? it will then become a scene from Joe vs the volcano, where you live your life as a mindless drone, walking, talking and doing the exact same thing on the exact same moment, Every day.

The last serious entertainment at the gym happened with mr. testosterone and the russian water ballet movement in front of the mirror. Which is interesting to note, that I have not seen him for a while now. Yes, I am rather regular to make the statement with a sense of authority, yup, have not seen him for a while. I think he ran out of white socks that came upto his shorts.

Well, like with every gym, the one i frequent has mirrors on all walls, now I thought this was simply because of the fact that everyone who visits the gym, would like to admire themselves to no effect. But, the truth is far from that. Apparently, when you see yourself doing exercise, its like watching someone else do it, so you end up keeping yourself company, what a sad world we have come to, when the only person in a room full of people to keep you company is yourself. Wow!

What is the flypside of having mirrors all over? Whatever happens, gets reflected all around you – thus the surround concept. Its like a page out of the Enter the Dragon movie, in the house of mirrors, but a lot more disturbing. Esp when people bend over and their pants dont cover.. its terrible and disturbing. Might be classified as one of those `scaring for life` moments! 🙂

I wonder if someone will ever create a rule for the gym, along with shoes and clean socks, one should ensure your pants cover that crack! Else, some people will be worried that evertime someone in fron bends down, you get a halfmoon! 🙂

Men are lecherous

As a man, i should be defending my own kind by not saying such things, but yesterday – i witnessed the most hilarious and ludicrous display of male hormones, and this made me have to spill it out somewhere.

location – the gym
time – early morning

In the testosterone filled gym there is a lady who does her workout. Being a small gym, everyone does their own thing, finishes up and leaves. But yesterday was different. There was a new member. New members are fun to watch. They fall into three distinct categories.

a) first time gym goers
b) gym transfer candidates or
c) restarting gyming after a while.

How do you know which kind. Its pretty obvious. The first time gym goers dont know the stepper from the cross trainer or how to start a treadmill, they must have someone pressing the button and telling them how to do it. The enthusiasm generally gets them moving much faster than their body would like, and then you see them falling like leaves or sitting down after a session on the treadmill- which in reality completly undoes everything that has been done before that.

So, this new member, of the same species comes in. like a middle aged man who is trying to look hep, he stood out of the crowd like a lobster in a sea of sardines. The shorts were pulled up to his navel, socks nearly reaching up to his knees and shoes. Quite a hilarious site if you actually had seen it.

Now, he is standing at the registration desk. Our lady walks past to get some weights to continue her routine. Like someone who has taken a concentrated shot of caffeine our man walks to the center of the room, and starts some really crazy ass routine of stretching. Now what inspired this sudden flash of adrenaline – is only one source. But the outcome was about 15 minutes of entertainment for the ones who noticed. I was trying hard not to laugh at him at his face, and covered my mouth to hide the smirk, but it WAS hard to avoid! :). IT was, for the lack of a better word, Ridiculous.

Usually the pattern is the same, notice… stare, lech, stare and then look elsewhere and busy. but in those few moments, i shudder to think of the thoughts that might have gone through the head. If a lady walks past, and most men, irrespective of age, location, nationality or educational qualification follow the very same steps- look, stare, lech, stare and then look busy.

Guess,this is life!

achievements and yearning!

This morning, like with all mornings this week, I have been dropping my mother at her office. So it is around 9am whn we finally leave the house and i am able to drop her off in about thirty minutes, and get back to my office in about another twenty minutes.

this morning, like other mornings was the same. I reached home, and decided that instead of waiting downstairs, I would go up and say hello. I also wanted to use this excuse to go up and collect my hands free – a small device on my mobile that I hve een missing sorely- so badly that i did not go cycling since I would not have music to listen to from the phone.
After dropping my mother off at her office, I started back. The drive back was un-eventful untill gemini flyover. What was so different today?
I come past gemini, and am on nungumbakkam highroad – or according to the official releases – uttamar gandhi salai. the reasoning behind this – can be asked to any body after handing them a patiala whiskey- which would make any true blooded man, woman and for pretty much any human – sozzled out of their sane minds.
So as i was driving past the Park hotel i see what appear to be busboys, hiding behind a pillar, but if they were attempting to hide it was a rather tactless move as the city in its entirity could see them, much like the ostrich. The guys had on such loose suits as one of them was demonstrating to the other- he pulled up the sleve of the suite, and adjusted the cuff of the shirt. Now that usually is how its done, in theory, but in practice- he yanked up the damn things almost till his elbow. Therefore, in a single, swift motion, he was able to demonstrate to the entire group of people who were stuck in traffic on the main road – that they dont know how to wear, correct fitting suits.
I personally was laughing at him, but what caught my attention was not the two of them, or the other security guards hanging around the hotel, nor the total lack of traffic on my side of the road and something that is more packed than a can of sardines with traffic on the other, but a lone man on a cycle.
I would have guessed his was either a carpenter or a plumber as he was carrying a hacksaw on his bike. He was looking at those two people with a mixture of awe, jealousy and ambition. That one fleeting second – I was thinking – how many times have i gone through that blend of emotions.
the realization came – life is made up of moments, and stringing these events together gives us the experience and a set of experiences is called life.

e-Shopping Network!

my wife plagued me to go shopping with her- as exciting as a visit to the dentist. grudgingly I agreed. Somehow the thought of not spending time with her outweighed my utter disdain for this women’s olympic sport. Nonetheless – I found myself rubbing shoulders with them ever-so-famous mannequins and perfume samples. Now- in order to increase the wallet share- the shops have kept the womens clothes & lingerie together- that means bad news for us guys- who end up “hanging ” around untill the dust settles from the rush to and from the changing rooms. the thought struck me- why can’t stores have “waiting” rooms near the changing rooms- a small TV and a Playstation, or even some news papers and magazines- because no wifeaccompanyingshoppinghusband will go beyond an earshot of the changing room, since their “opinion” matter (yeah right! ) and if they do – then they face the wrath of the “shopping angry wife!”. and if they have no comments, then it is as good as sending the wife alone!

so as a guy – I vote for a waiting room near the changing room, to save our brethren the agony of waiting till the better halfs work their way through a stockpile of trial outfits. 🙂